You could die (or this might end).

I'm really starting to hate this. I don't know how long I can keep waiting when it feels like every day you care a little bit less. Maybe you ought to just take your scholarship and forget that this ever happened. Seems to be the direction this is headed anyway, doesn't it? What's the point in dragging it out for a few more months? I don't know. I want to believe that this could work but I don't know how much longer I can keep hoping without even knowing if I'll ever even see you again. Maybe it's just time to give up. Or maybe I'm just in a shitty mood. I don't even know anymore. I wish I could feel like this still mattered to you.