Stop whining.

I think it's time for me to stop complaining all the time. I mean, yeah, I miss a certain girl a ton. More than I can even say. And I need a second job, really badly. But I might be getting one soon. And complaining about these things isn't going to change anything. So I'm going to try and stop for a while.

Come back.

I know you miss me. You know I miss you.
I know you still like me. You know I still like you.

So why won't you just let me be yours again? I know I've been selfish and I'm sorry. But I'm ready to do what it takes to change that.

I think there's a reason that a boy living in Omaha, Nebraska just happened to join a band whose show a girl from Tecumseh, Nebraska just happened to miss by twenty minutes. I think there's a reason that those two people just happened to exchange numbers at a Burger King after that show. I think there's a reason she said "yes" when he asked her to be his girlfriend. I think there's a reason he can't even think about any other girl anymore.

Can you please just give us the chance to find out what that reason is?

23.

You'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time. What are you hoping for?

I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready.

Don't hate me.

Yeah, so. Today was pretty alright until about 4:00. Then Kaci called and couldn't hang out, once again. I miss that girl something crazy. But we did have a good talk, and I finally know that she really does miss me. Not half as much as I miss her, though.

Today.

I finally get to see Kaci this afternoon. I am incredibly excited. I miss her terribly.

On to morning stars.

This is the second night in a row that I have been up until after 5AM. Last night, I hung out with Kelli and Amy driving around Lincoln and laughing entirely too much until about 4:30AM and then headed back to the hotel my parents were staying in to sleep for a few hours. Tonight, after the show in Kearney, Kam, Matt, Isom, and Jonathan ate Perkins in Grand Island with just about everyone who was at the show. Then we headed to my house and proceeded to watch Nick @ Nite and chill for about four hours somehow. It's now six in the morning and I have a feeling I am going to be completely dead tomorrow. But the last two days were fun. I'm heading straight to bed after the show tomorrow night, though. I've got to wake up at 7AM to get to get to school by 8AM. Life is incredibly lame. I need to start doing something worthwhile.

I miss you.

So. I haven't actually gotten to spend any time alone with my girlfriend in like over two weeks. This seriously blows. I'm not usually one to say super-corny sappy things like this, but I miss my baby. I really do. And I feel terrible that she's had such a horrible week and I can't do anything to cheer her up. Here's hoping next week is better.

Believe in what you want.

Today I went and applied for a couple of jobs and got applications for a couple more. Hopefully I'll find one within the next couple of weeks. Within the next week would be great. I could really use a little financial security in my life at the moment. And the ability to start putting away for some things that I'd like to buy. Like a new TV, iPod, guitar, and amp. Do I need these things? No. But they'd be nice to have. I'm not really one for material possessions, but whatever. Congratulations American media, you've successfully convinced me that I need a big screen HDTV to make my life more complete.

Static prevails.

Today I've been listening to Jimmy Eat World all day. It's been the best decision of my week. It's given me the motivation to finally start trying to piece together some actual songs instead of just whatever random guitar parts pop into my head. It's also given me the motivation to start looking for a good second job so I can make enough money to invest in some gear to really get these songs going. So yeah. If by some incredible chance I end up on a stage someday in front of a few people who happen to like my band's songs, please remind me it's all because of Jimmy Eat World.

Pretty pathetic.

Why am I so selfish? Not everything in this world is about me, and I really need to start remembering that. I might expand on this later.

Iron man.

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That's gonna be tight.

Someone's standing on my chest.

"I felt guilty." What could you mean by that? Something that's really not even a big deal? Or something that's going to make me feel horrible? Why would you leave me hanging on to those words until tomorrow? All night, I've felt like an elephant is standing on my chest. I can hardly breathe and every time I manage to distract myself from it, it comes back like a ton of bricks. Please let everything be okay.